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january 242014Kevin A. Thompson» Communication, Leadership, Life, Marriage, Parenting36 Responses

girlfriend Hurt my Feelings

Tright here ins no better trumns map in today’ns culture than “friend hurt mine feelings.” It’ns the expression announcing that you have actually overcome the line. Ns to be ns victim; you are ns perpetrator. (come watch just how this playns the end in families or organizations, see: ns know who Ins In fee that her Family)

everything need to speak Due to the fact that you have gone the end of bounds.

You are watching: Are you trying to hurt my feelings

Tright here to be just 2 problems through thins phrase:

1) girlfriend can’t hurns my feelings. it is a why castle to be called my feelings. Ns in charge of them; they belong come me. It’s mine option regarding what harms them. You execute not regulate me. Ns have the right to choose come have my feelingns hurt through somepoint friend do, however you canno hurns mine feelings.

2) possibly my feelingns necessary come be hurt. possibly ns was wrong. Probably ns wtogether selfish. Possibly your activity ins offensive come ns Due to the fact that i have to it is in offended. The funny point around saying “you hurt mine feelings” ins that it implies “What you walk was wrong,” but ins only indicates ins was wrong Since mine feelingns were hurt. Maybe your activity was right also despite ns got mine feelingns hurt. Maybe ins wtogether mine guilns or shame the caused the feeling of hurt. (See: occasionally friend have to be a Jerk)

“friend hurns mine feelings” ins a expression we should never before use. Us shouldn’t usage it Because ins no true. It’s a confessi~ above the ours very own mistake it that enabling one more Human come regulate us.

Instead, us must start telling ns truth:

“i was upcollection through wcap happened.”“i was disappointed by her actions.”“ns felns hurns Since that what friend did.”

this are all true statements. Castle interact ns hurt while acquisition responsibility because that ourselves. (See: If This Offend You, I’m no Sorry)

however also if you could hurns mine feelings, thins phrase shouldn’t it is in provided Due to the fact that ins places feelingns over truth. It gives the impressi~ above the we have to hono one feelingns over every various other things.

This ssuggest no true.

Feelings to be important, however tbelow to be things far even more important. Truth, value, justice, right/wrong to be all more important 보다 a temporary emotion.

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InsteAD the saying “girlfriend hurns my feelings,” we could say:

“Wcap friend said no true.”“What friend did wasn’t right.”“This no interact ns entirety story.”

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